LGBTQ Finger Pointing

LGBTQ Finger Pointing

Discrimination with our own community

Why can’t we all get along?  Why do people, even other minorities, feel the need to point fingers at one-another?  Is this a competition? Why don’t we, within out own community of all people, realize that discriminating is not a solution?  Why do people who have been discriminated against and know how discrimination feels tolerate discrimination in their communities?  I could go on and on with these questions.  I’m baffled --we continue to hurt each other and I can’t figure out why.

I lived as a lesbian as many Female to Male (FTM’s) transgendered people do for a period of time because many times the butch community is the only comfortable place for us to reside until we transition.  We can be closer to our true selves there then anywhere.  It is acceptable to be very masculine in the lesbian culture and butches are even praised by many for their masculinity.  The lesbian world is a close-knit good Ol’ Gals club in my experience.  Many have strong opinions about the opposite gender, ie:  MEN”.  In my experience, some of the lesbians I’ve encountered think men always have bad intentions toward women.  I realize I may catch some flak for saying this however that is my experience.  I was, at one time, a very visible leader in the lesbian community therefore to some my transition was a shock, and even a betrayal.  And regardless of their standing in the lesbian/dyke community, I have heard that other FTM’s have received this same reaction.   I realize that many of these women think my transition is leaving their “camp” and therefore I’m betraying them and in some ways all women.  There are old lesbian friends who no longer speak to me.  And there are some who voice very strong opinions about my transition to my friends but not to my face.  Of course I eventually hear about it and it saddens me.

Let me make a few things clear: My transition has nothing to do with you!  My transition has nothing to do with hating or disliking any gender.  My transition has to do with what I feel inside, with me being true to who I am.  My transition has to do with me trying to walk in this world in comfort and completeness.  My transition is not about making you feel uncomfortable, whether it does or not.

The truth is sadly, some lesbian don’t like any men.  Some gay men don’t like lesbians.  Some gays and some straights don’t like bisexuals.  Some monogamous people don’t like bi or polyamorous folks.  Some homosexuals don’t like that many now are using the title queer instead of gay or lesbian. And a lot of people don’t like those transgendered people who are even more misunderstood than bisexuals.  Then there are the straight people, ugh.   Some people just don’t like anything that is different from them!

All of us in the LGBTQ community do not follow the so-called norms of our society.  We are minorities and we should stop judging each other!  We all have been and are discriminated against enough in this world without us adding to that discrimination.  My aunt used to say “when you have one finger pointing out at anyone else, look down and notice that there are three fingers pointing back at you.”

How can we as a community expect society to not discriminate against us when we discriminate against our own community? Let’s stop taking up arms against one another, even if we don’t understand each other.  Let’s realize that someone else’s sexuality or sexual orientation does not threaten who we are.   Let’s be open to learning more about each other.  Let’s realize that it’s the individual that can be an ass and not label entire categories of people because of the actions of a few.  Let’s stop doing the very thing that we don’t want done to us!   

I challenge you to examine within yourself ways that you can make efforts to better understand others within the LGBTQ community.  Make bridges and walk toward each other.  Step outside of your comfort zone.  Learn to enjoy the beautiful variety within your community and the world.  It’s well worth the effort